What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 24.06.2025 06:24
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Hundreds of Mysterious Giant Viruses Discovered Lurking in The Ocean - ScienceAlert
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!
I write beautiful poetry .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
What questions would you ask to an AI?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Can you explain the difference between a shower cap and a hair bonnet?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Staying in This Place Too Long Could Change How You Age, Scientists Say - The Daily Galaxy
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Stock futures fall as investors eye Israel-Iran conflict: Live updates - CNBC
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Especially a lifetime of it.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
(And it was in our own minds.)
For what reasons would lawyers hesitate to use a legal AI product?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
What is world history that not many people know about?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was 9 years of age.
Would this be the day?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She found it foreign!.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And i lived it daily.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But, we were locked up after school.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She was in good health!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I have no regrets .
It was going to be , some day.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
When she asked me how she looked .
This is soul school!.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He knew the spot.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was very sick at this time too.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So, i spoilt her more .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He resisted the act ,that day.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Comes on , in middle age.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I was seconnd youngest,
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But it wasn’t much.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I waited trembling.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I couldn’t, believe it.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Im still living with it.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Who then, do I blame.?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Why did i forgive my father ?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was scared of men, in general
Was to survive, this bastard.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
All the time i was locked up.
I said to her
We were not on the streets..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
We all went to grammer schools
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Ive learnt so much.
So whats the point in blame.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I think the readers, may guess!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I will be 64.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She married twice! .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I never cut or harmed myself..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She loved him until the end.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
My life is so biszare .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
One cannot live in the past .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Put me off passion for life!!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
What did i know ?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
She wouldn,t have been !
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I don,t even have a pension.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
My family never makes their pension either.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.